“I felt the fear but I showed up anyway”- Danielle Laporte
I recently went to a dream workshop held at the Edgar Cayce center in New York City. In this workshop we were asked to share a dream we recently had and to describe it in detail. The dream I had involved Ryan Gosling (don’t you just love it?). Although the man had the face of Ryan Gosling, the aura he possessed was that of past lovers. Dreams are weird and fascinating that way aren’t they?
So anyway, we were totally into each other. BUT- he was from another city and I knew we couldn’t really be together because of distance. Now, this is NO coincidence as I have lived this out (in 3d world) before. It was a juicy romance, but I felt caution and that was painful. At the workshop, we were asked about how we honored this dream. I expressed that the pleasant juicy feelings I felt highlighted what I want in a relationship (I am single) and the caution I felt highlighted my fear.
The point I am trying to make is that, we should honor our subconscious fears. There is wisdom in learning from our fears because it is a message to expand. Yes, it is true that I don’t want to be in a long distance relationship because it won’t allow me to engage in a relationship that can grow in a real way. Thank you subconscious fear for showing me that 😉 I honor what my subconscious is telling me because in turn, it is showing me what would make me happy.
The trick about using fear to our advantage- is to work with it! Don’t fight it. Sit with it, because it is a teacher.
What’s even more perfect, is that very night- I came across a Marie Forleo video where she interviewed Dr. Cathy Collautt (check it out on Youtube, it’s fab!) and the video totally resonated with my experience.
In a nutshell, here tips provided by Dr. Collautt I am putting to use:
- Get humble: again, don’t fight the fear. You don’t know everything and believe that fear is there for a reason (just don’t dwell in it!)
- Get specific: explore the fear. Why is it there? What potential does it have to motivate me to expand? (for me, it’s not settling for anything less than an available and present partner).
- Make a promise: work with your fear! (“I promise you dear subconscious that I will find you a Ryan Gosling look a like partner who lives in new york!”)- you get my drift.
- Find examples: look at people who have accomplished what you desire. Remind yourself over and over again of what is possible. Perhaps you have accomplished it before?
- Solidify and affirm. “I will find a partner whom I am crazy about (and he about me) who lives in this city!” Now say yours!
There is no light without dark. “Aha’s” are all the sweeter after we’ve sifted through the confusion first. True transformation happens when you are courageous enough to face what makes you feel uncomfortable.
I leave you with this quote from my Greek peeps:
“Kidea xoris gelio kai gamos xoris Klama den Ginonde”
Translation: “A funeral without laughter and a wedding without tears is impossible.”
Pretty powerful quote I think 😉